We finally got the web series up online after a day of frustrating technical issues. The point of this series was to shoot something fun, for no money, so that I would always have something to work on… and also to get me into the union. I’m going through SAG-AFTRA’s application process right now.
It’s pretty cool what can be done with technology these days. We’re shooting on my little Bloggie camera which shoots HD but is only a few inches tall and editing everything on an ancient Mac laptop. We’re getting friends to play the other roles and shooting guerilla style on the fly.
So- in those respects- we are accomplishing what we set out to do. I’m excited for the season of seven episodes that we have planned and for the guest stars that we want to bring on board. Nothing about this has a been a drag; it’s all been fairly light and fun.
But what I forgot about is what I like to call the “Oh, Fuuuck” moment (pardon my French). That’s the moment when you finally release your work into the public sphere. It happens with every play I’ve done, every piece of writing I’ve let anyone read, every bit of film I’ve shown… you work on something, you’re excited about it (or not), you build the buzz… and then you have to actually show it to people. That moment is pure hellish agony for me. Every. Single. Time. And the bittersweet thing about the creative process is that the product is never quite ready or finished. George Lucas said that films are never completed, they are merely abandoned.
With a play, you have to invite critics and audiences to the first few performances when you’ve just barely gotten the entire performance to work and are trying to find your sea legs. The first impressions are formed around the weakest leg of the run. And maybe the film you shot encountered so many obstacles that it was a miracle you finished it at all, let alone have any hope of it resembling the pictures in your head. And now, with this web-series, well…. like I said, we’re shooting it for no money and on consumer-model equipment. That’s the charm and that’s the conundrum.
Sometimes there’s an expectation that all of one’s work is going to be at a certain level. But, by the nature of how we work, it can’t always be there. Class is a lab where you can take your time and work on the tiniest of details and try things over and over again. People can watch the process unfold over a period of weeks and are privy to moments of perfection that no one else will ever see. Will those perfect moments occur in a product that is released to the general public? Maybe, if you’re lucky. But probably not. So I can only hope that the general audience will take the ride with me, knowing that some things are first attempts and that other things will get better with time.
Are we completely happy with the pilot episode of KRISTY? Almost but not quite. We may tweak a few things and release a revised version. But those of you have seen it already are watching the creative process more than a product. That’s part of the life I signed up for so I guess I have to experience the “Oh, Fuuuck” and let it be.