January 13, 2007.

This morning I was feeling a lot of fear and doubt about my upcoming audition so I decided to meditate for fifteen minutes on how I wanted the audition to go and what the ideal outcome would look and feel like. It helped a great deal and in the middle of the meditation I remembered a story I read about Megan Follows a long time ago.

Follows desperately wanted to play the role of Anne in the Canadian television production of Anne of Green Gables. She was about sixteen at the time and the role required an actress who could portray a girl from age twelve to age eighteen. Megan was the first of 3000 actresses to audition. She put notes up all over her house that said, “I am an orphan. I am twelve years old.” The director didn’t like her and went on to see all those thousands of girls. But Megan kept up with her affirmations and at the end of the audition process was called in again. Despite the odds against her and despite the fact that the director wanted to cast someone else, Megan ended up with the role and went on to win multiple awards for her performance. It’s impossible to think of anyone else in that role.

So I decided to take page from her book and after my meditation I wrote up a bunch of signs and posted them all over my apartment- next to the couch, my bed, over the desk, on the refrigerator, next to the mirror and, yes, even in front of the toilet. There was an immediate and interesting outcome to this process. I suddenly felt as though I was surrounded by support and by a visible manifestation of my inner desire. It’s one thing to think something in my head but it’s even more powerful to see my dreams in writing all over my house. Because I’m living alone right now, I think this is going to be very encouraging and helpful.

I’ve also realized that I will have to be very intentional about my interactions with friends here in L.A. I have a great circle of people but I think they have a specific idea about who I am and that idea is turning out to be very different from my idea of who I am. I’m interested to see what I’m blogging about a month from now.


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