THE GIRL I MEAN TO BE

December 28, 2006.

I’m learning about the Law of Attraction and will be experimenting with it this coming year to see how I can change my life to make it look the way I’ve imagined. I’ve always held part of myself and my dreams in reserve, making excuses for what I want as if I don’t deserve a certain kind of life or am foolish to even think of having it. I especially do this with acting. I hesitate to say that I am an actor or that I want to act or that I will be auditioning for a very specific role in the near future and that I see myself playing that role. People might pity for my delusional thinking and that’s why I don’t say exactly who I think I am.

I told my husband that my goal for the New Year was to gain some confidence. He said that I already had confidence but that I suppress it. He saw that I was a different person over the summer while acting in King Lear. He said that I had no defenses up, that I was intense and that I made no bones about my energy and intentions. I remember feeling that way and how good it felt. I felt as though I could do anything. Can’t wait to see what 2007 turns out to be.

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